Celebrate The Weird Things If They Aren't Necessarily Good things

***I am having a baby in about a month and I wore my regular jeans today that are 2 years old.  This may be due to the fact that my baby is basically growing into my ribcage and she is breach... but whatever!  My butt must be almost OK.  I feel like this is a miracle.  Celebrate!

***This is the first year I have ever filed my taxes early, or even close to on time.  And I did it all by myself on the computer.  Just now.  I am beaming.  I even have a confirmation number and my Revenue Canada accounts says they received it.  For someone who once waited 7 years to do taxes, this is a major accomplishment.

***I filed for my maternity early this time.  When I had my twins I couldn't get my shit together and forgot to send in ROE's.  This time its all tickety boo. Ducks in a row.  A crooked row with four employers, but a row none the less.

***I have about a month of frozen food prepared in the freezer for when my baby arrives.

*** I have the most amazing supportive and understanding friends who care about me no matter what kind of weird messes I get myself into.  Even being pregnant with no dad and having to move 17 days before I give birth.  The only question they ask is "how can we help."

***  I just got to spend the last 3 months on a gorgeous float home at my favourite place in Victoria house sitting for a friend. (thank-you) It was a perfect place to spend time alone, be peaceful, create food, and cry... a lot of crying!

***  I love realising that things are only as good as I make them or let them be. I get another little bundle of personality to figure out and nurture.  What an opportunity! 

I have a lot of great things going on although some people might not think so.  I feel really blessed and happy to have magical things happen in my life.  Like mistakes turning into miracles!

My Bed is Like a Little Boat

confession

SHHHHH!  Don't tell anyone that I am scared and that I have nightmares about my ex mother in law stealing my baby.

Gotye - Thanks For Your Time

Breakthrough Break

A few weeks ago I deleted my Facebook account in hopes of having some sort of mind blowing creative epiphany where I would produce an elegant piece of artwork including multi-media concepts with an inspiring message that would speak to the masses.  Well, it didn't happen.  I am very pregnant, tired, a little bit lonely, and stressed.  I have been in this frame of mind before.  It is called survival mode.  After spending three eventful hours at the E.I. office trying to organise my maternity leave or sitting in a room full of couples at the obstetrician's office, the last thing I feel like is being creative.  The first thing I feel like doing is loosing myself on Facebook, looking at my ex-boyfriends' profiles, paging through photos of people I barely know who have 'picture perfect' lives.  Photos of them at weddings, baby showers, travelling, hiking, and attending other social events that are all documented and preserved perfectly and forever on Facebook. 
There are people that do not care about their profiles.  These are people that aren't afraid to say negative things on their statuses, or post pictures of themselves with a lump or bump showing.  I always like those people.  Then  there are people who carefully edit their profiles.  Only positive comments and quotes fill their pages. There are people that rarely check their facebook account and others who are faithfully connected through their cellphones and e-mail accounts transforming status updates from 'friends' with whom they don't even speak with on a one on one basis into a form of feeling connected to someone or something. But is it something?
In my situation I was feeling helpless towards Facebook. Facebook was making me feel bad.  Or maybe it was me making Facebook feel bad?  Perhaps I was just feeling bad and it had nothing to do with Facebook.  Stalking people never makes you feel good in any situation.  Lets just put it that way. Because I have not been working and my social activity is at a low, Facebook was taking the place of being with people and not doing a very good job.  I know it is the way of the future and I don't think it is a bad thing.  I am just confused about where and how it should fit into our lives.  I am not deleting it from my life permanently, but I do believe this break is necessary in some way. 
So if I have not had my groundbreaking creative epiphany, at least I feel partially released from the grip of social networking for a little while.  I still check my e-mail every day and of course I am writing in a blog... but I don't know what everyone is doing all day unless they call me or send me a message.  This makes me feel good and I guess that is all I was going for to begin with!